What It's Like to Be A Mom To A Preemie....

I certainly didn't expect to be.  When my water broke at 33 weeks, no one was more surprised than me.  I had 3 weeks left to work; loose ends would be tied.  I would have some time to myself before the baby.
Instead, I found myself going into labor, and having a baby in front of a crowd of staff.
Kyleigh was 4 lbs, 4 oz.  She scored a 4 on the Apgar.  Instead of holding her for as long as I wanted, I held her for a minute before she was whisked away.
Instead of staying at the hospital where she was born, she was sent to another local one with a NICU.  I had to stay behind.  I didn't see my baby again for 2 days.
I watched as other mothers got wheeled out to their cars with their brand new babies.  Instead, my husband and I drove the extra 10 minutes to see my baby in the NICU.  She lived in a little box, with all these tubes and wires.  She wasn't able to sleep in the bed we'd prepared for her.
Most mothers dealt with a crying newborn at home while trying to recover.  Instead, I rushed over to the NICU every day for 8 hours straight.  I would watch the monitors; check her breathing constantly; and try feeding her little bits of breast milk at a time. I went home without my baby every night and sobbed into my pillow; picturing her all alone and needing me.
The days turned into weeks.  Kyleigh was there for 20 days.  We watched as she gained weight.  We cheered when her feedings increased.  We were on a first name basis with the staff there. We knew some of the other families that were there; with babies sicker than ours.
We kept wondering when she'd go home.  The NICU doctors, I learned, do not like to tell parents when their babies will go home in case something changes suddenly.  That is a very real possibility.
The day that she finally did go home, we didn't believe it at first.  We were afraid something would happen, and things would change.  She sailed through her final examination, and made it home.
She'll be 3 months old on Thanksgiving.  We are most thankful to have her home with us.  We are blessed to have her doing so well.  She's come home with no real complications, other than GERD.
We were lucky.  There were other parents who weren't.
Today, I want to take the time to think of all of the parents of preemies; and all of the wonderful NICU staff.