Years ago, I worked in the customer service department of a large furniture store. A woman walked in, with her baby girl. The baby was adorable; big eyes, fuzzy hair, and big smile. She kept smiling at me. I asked the woman how old she was (I want to say 6 months but I'm not sure that's right). The baby slammed her little hands on the counter. I slammed back playfully. We played this game for a minute, and I touched her little hand. The woman became angry. "Don't touch her hands! Don't you know that you never touch a baby's hands? They put their hands in their mouth after you touch them!" I was pretty taken aback by her response, and knowing me, was probably pretty snarky with her th rest of the time. I never forgot this baby and mother. The mother, because she seemingly was a bitch...and the baby, because she had a rubber tube in her nose, held on by tape to her face. I had never seen that before having Kyleigh.
Yesterday, I was reflecting on Kyleigh's birth, as I often do, and a picture clicked in my mind of Kyleigh with her gavage tube. All of a sudden, it hit me, that the baby I remembered from years back was probably a preemie. There is sure no way of mistaking a gavage tube. I realized that the mother was worried, like myself, about the health of her baby. The mother just completely freaked out when I touched the baby's hands, because she was probably worried about RSV.
Of course, it doesn't excuse her from being a bitch. I will never forget as long as I live her chastising tone, as if I were a naughty child. It did make me realize that educating people can, and should be done respectfully.
A couple of weeks ago, I learned from Kyleigh's doctor that she would not be eligible for the RSV shot. My heart sank. She was not on oxygen long enough after her birth, and therefore didn't qualify. To me, a preemie is a preemie. She was still born at 33 weeks, she still spent 20 days in the NICU. Yes, she was very strong from the beginning and really didn't require a whole lot compared to most of the other babies. But, who knows how strong her respiratory system is? The fact that she will be coming with me to daycare really has me worried. I can't stand in the room to see how many times they wash their hands with her, or how many times they sanitize the changing table; I have my own classroom to be in charge of.
I like Kyleigh's doctor, but when I told him I was scared about RSV, his response was "Me too." I suppose he thought he was trying to be honest and on level with me; but I felt like screaming about it.
I just feel because Kyleigh was one of the "stronger" preemies, she will always fall through the cracks and not qualify for things. EI came out a few weeks back, and she didn't qualify for that, either. I was happy to hear that, but what about later??
I just keep telling myself if I can get through this RSV season, I'll be ok.
Wendy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experiences. I'm glad to hear Kyleigh is doing well, but also understand that many parents share your concerns about RSV and keeping their babies healthy. You can keep up with news that we hope is helpful for all moms at our News Moms Need blog at http://bit.ly/cHg7iu.
--Christine, March of Dimes
I was so afraid for my 24-week preemies for a long time. We couldn't use day care because they were so fragile. In fact, we kept them pretty isolated for almost two years. I used to make everyone scrub hands and ask them not to come visit if they had even sneezed in the past week. After age 2, we were told to stop protecting our twins so much. They were stronger now and needed to be exposed to the world to develop their own immune systems.
ReplyDeleteOn November 17, they celebrated their 19th birthday and are happy and healthy. The ironic thing is that their big, strapping younger brother, who was born at 41 weeks, is our asthma child. Both my preemies, who suffered lung damage, have always been very healthy since their early days passed. Our pediatrician says that the fact that they survived at all shows us how strong they really our. I am sharing the journal I kept during their five-month NICU stay at Mike&Ollie: 24-weekers Who Beat the Odds.
I hope your daughter does well through this and all the RSV seasons to come. Be cautious, but don't let your fear get in the way of enjoying your daughter and her life with you. Best wishes.