What It's Like to Be A Mom To A Preemie....

I certainly didn't expect to be.  When my water broke at 33 weeks, no one was more surprised than me.  I had 3 weeks left to work; loose ends would be tied.  I would have some time to myself before the baby.
Instead, I found myself going into labor, and having a baby in front of a crowd of staff.
Kyleigh was 4 lbs, 4 oz.  She scored a 4 on the Apgar.  Instead of holding her for as long as I wanted, I held her for a minute before she was whisked away.
Instead of staying at the hospital where she was born, she was sent to another local one with a NICU.  I had to stay behind.  I didn't see my baby again for 2 days.
I watched as other mothers got wheeled out to their cars with their brand new babies.  Instead, my husband and I drove the extra 10 minutes to see my baby in the NICU.  She lived in a little box, with all these tubes and wires.  She wasn't able to sleep in the bed we'd prepared for her.
Most mothers dealt with a crying newborn at home while trying to recover.  Instead, I rushed over to the NICU every day for 8 hours straight.  I would watch the monitors; check her breathing constantly; and try feeding her little bits of breast milk at a time. I went home without my baby every night and sobbed into my pillow; picturing her all alone and needing me.
The days turned into weeks.  Kyleigh was there for 20 days.  We watched as she gained weight.  We cheered when her feedings increased.  We were on a first name basis with the staff there. We knew some of the other families that were there; with babies sicker than ours.
We kept wondering when she'd go home.  The NICU doctors, I learned, do not like to tell parents when their babies will go home in case something changes suddenly.  That is a very real possibility.
The day that she finally did go home, we didn't believe it at first.  We were afraid something would happen, and things would change.  She sailed through her final examination, and made it home.
She'll be 3 months old on Thanksgiving.  We are most thankful to have her home with us.  We are blessed to have her doing so well.  She's come home with no real complications, other than GERD.
We were lucky.  There were other parents who weren't.
Today, I want to take the time to think of all of the parents of preemies; and all of the wonderful NICU staff.

World Diabetes Day // Bloggers Unite

World Diabetes Day // Bloggers Unite

Several years ago, I was told that I was going to have a student who was diabetic. I began to panic. After all, what did I know about diabetes, really? Except that both my Uncle Gary, and a friend from work, Linda, had both passed away from it. Diabetes seemed like a death sentence to me. The fact that this 3 year old boy had it....how would I be able to do this?

When I met this little boy, he was adorable. He wore a Patriots jersey. He seemed normal in every way. The nutritionist on staff assured me that I would be able to care for him. She gave me information; showed us how to test his blood sugar; and how to help him make good eating choices.

Anthony taught me more about diabetes than anyone ever could have. Together, over the two years that I was his teacher, we learned together. I knew when he was "low", and he began to learn when he was low. We worked together to test his blood sugar, to help him make good choices, and to take control of his diabetes.

Other teachers were afraid of him; they never wanted me or his mother to be absent because they were too scared to take control. Anthony taught me it was all about being in control. I will never worry about it again because of him.

His mother became a friend; and today I know that Anthony is doing so well. I am proud of him.

I had watched my uncle Gary lose his battle with diabetes, and it was devastating. He passed away at 46 years old, and was a completely different person from who I'd known growing up. My friend Linda, who was always in control of her diabetes, lost her battle rather suddenly at 35. She left a young son and infant daughter. I was devastated for them.

Watching Anthony grow up, though, I realized it was not a death sentence.

I have other friends with diabetes. They live with it every day, and stay in control.

I am proud of them all.

I hope someday that there is a cure for diabetes.

I blog today for them all- Anthony, Uncle Gary, Linda, Kristin, Kristen.

World Kindness Day // Bloggers Unite

World Kindness Day // Bloggers Unite

It was yesterday, but I feel it's never too late to blog about kindness. Kindness seems to be the thing that is lacking today. A lot of people do not take the time to be kind or care about others. In our day to day life, people become too self involved. I think if we all took the time to stop and look at others, it would make an improvement. Kindness has many forms. It can be a hug, handshake, smile, words, look, or small action.

There's a saying I like, that I've heard a lot lately. It is:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato

There is a more modern version of that, but the point is.....everyone has their own issues, sadness, happiness, hills to climb. It is really difficult to keep it in perspective, but I sometimes try to remind myself of that when I am about to become angry.

Another quote that I like is from Conan O'Brien, when he left the Tonight Show....

"'If you work really, really hard, and you're kind... Amazing things will happen to you."

I think that speaks volumes. I've gotten further in life from being kind and understanding. I have a tough exterior, and I'll admit, I am very outspoken. But I do know how to be kind when it counts. And that quote has stuck with me.

Be kind today, and every day.

Reflecting On Preemies, RSV and Other Stuff

Years ago, I worked in the customer service department of a large furniture store.  A woman walked in, with her baby girl.  The baby was adorable; big eyes, fuzzy hair, and big smile.  She kept smiling at me. I asked the woman how old she was (I want to say 6 months but I'm not sure that's right).  The baby slammed her little hands on the counter.  I slammed back playfully.  We played this game for a minute, and I touched her little hand.  The woman became angry.  "Don't touch her hands!  Don't you know that you never touch a baby's hands?  They put their hands in their mouth after you touch them!"  I was pretty taken aback by her response, and knowing me, was probably pretty snarky with her th rest of the time.  I never forgot this baby and mother.  The mother, because she seemingly was a bitch...and the baby, because she had a rubber tube in her nose, held on by tape to her face.  I had never seen that before having Kyleigh.
Yesterday, I was reflecting on Kyleigh's birth, as I often do, and a picture clicked in my mind of Kyleigh with her gavage tube.  All of a sudden, it hit me, that the baby I remembered from years back was probably a preemie.  There is sure no way of mistaking a gavage tube.  I realized that the mother was worried, like myself, about the health of her baby.  The mother just completely freaked out when I touched the baby's hands, because she was probably worried about RSV.
Of course, it doesn't excuse her from being a bitch.  I will never forget as long as I live her chastising tone, as if I were a naughty child.  It did make me realize that educating people can, and should be done respectfully.
A couple of weeks ago, I learned from Kyleigh's doctor that she would not be eligible for the RSV shot.  My heart sank.  She was not on oxygen long enough after her birth, and therefore didn't qualify.  To me, a preemie is a preemie. She was still born at 33 weeks, she still spent 20 days in the NICU.  Yes, she was very strong from the beginning and really didn't require a whole lot compared to most of the other babies.  But, who knows how strong her respiratory system is?  The fact that she will be coming with me to daycare really has me worried.  I can't stand in the room to see how many times they wash their hands with her, or how many times they sanitize the changing table; I have my own classroom to be in charge of.
I like Kyleigh's doctor, but when I told him I was scared about RSV, his response was "Me too."  I suppose he thought he was trying to be honest and on level with me; but I felt like screaming about it.
I just feel because Kyleigh was one of the "stronger" preemies, she will always fall through the cracks and not qualify for things.  EI came out a few weeks back, and she didn't qualify for that, either.  I was happy to hear that, but what about later??
I just keep telling myself if I can get through this RSV season, I'll be ok.

Fight for Preemies // Bloggers Unite

Fight for Preemies // Bloggers Unite

This is a good cause....March Of Dimes does so much for premature infants.

It's simple- on Nov 17, blog for a baby who was premature.

Spread awareness to others.

My First Post!! Break Out The Champagne!!!

So, I'm not going to start off by promising I'll write once a day.  I've got my hands full- what with the demanding baby and all.  I also have a husband I have to take care of.  Add to all this the fact that I am going back to work in 3 weeks, and you have me not making any promises.  Of course, I might blog once a day....I might blog twice even.  Never know.  It's the surprise element that will keep everyone guessing, I suppose.
I do like to add a lot of humor and sarcasm to my blog.  Those people who know me know that I am this way in real life.  I am often so adept with the sarcasm that people often are not sure whether I am being sarcastic or not.  I call this a talent.
You may see some of the topics that I write about are about premature babies.  My daughter was born 7 weeks early, and is doing well.  However, I know all too well that she was a lucky one.  So, premature births and March of Dimes are causes I believe strongly in.
I will also put in my 2 cents on educational issues, since I am a teacher.  I have been teaching in total about 16 years.  I have taught/worked with infants through 6th grade. I currently teach preschool, so I also believe strongly in early childhood education.
I don't know a whole lot about parenting yet, but I will soon discover in this journey.  I am not only a mom, but a stepmom, too.  Being a stepmom comes with it's own issues.  I am learning all that as well.
I am also a very random person, so there will be lots of randomness, too.
I look forward to exploring these, and other topics in my blog.  I hope you enjoy reading!