Pregnancy/Infant Loss Rembrance Day

It is another cause, besides preemie awareness, that is close to my heart. It takes a back burner now, I guess because I now have Kyleigh. It's hard to think of pain when I have all this joy of Kyleigh. Why, I wouldn't have her if it weren't for the loss that I had. It's hard for me to imagine being the mother of any child besides Kyleigh. But once, I was.
I was just 8 weeks along, but it felt like an eternity. There was nothing anyone could say to ease the pain of that loss. It was devastating. I felt like a failure for a long time.
It didn't help matters that the guy I was with at the time was more interested in hooking up with his childhood friend (not me this time) to truly be there and understand my loss. It was supposed to be "our" loss, but it never felt that way.
He accused me of being different after the loss. Well how else should I have been? Of course I was different! I was supposed to be a mother, and I was robbed of that opportunity.
I went to a couple of great support group meetings and met some great people. People who were like me. Some who had miscarriages, but others who had lost an infant. It defintely made me think of them last year, when I had my own infant. How scary it was, and still is, to think of her being taken from me.
I felt guilty for awhile, because sometimes when the loss comes back to me, I say " Oh well, you have Kyleigh now." Its always hard to think of being someone else's mom.
Time has definitely taken away the sting of this; but never the sadness of the loss. On Oct 19, (my due date) I would have had a 2 year old. I never forget. In mid March of every year since 2009, I never forget either.
So, please take the time to think of those who have lost an infant or pregnancy today.