It's been awhile since I've blogged. I can't promise I'll improve, but I'll try. One day at a time,right?
I read an article the other day about judgmental moms. It stuck out to me, because I remember being that way to other moms, BEFORE I was even a mom. I realized that I have ALWAYS been this way. It really got me thinking. I know I've lost friends over the years because I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. I've had friends afraid to tell me important milestones in their lives, just because they were afraid of what I'd say. Whenever I heard that, it would make me sad. I never meant for people to feel that way about me. I sure know that I'm not perfect, and I've definitely made my share mistakes. Many, in fact. A lot of the reason I'm doing poorly today is my own fault. I
guess, though, that I always have be to be right. Even if it isn't about me.
I cringe when i think of some of the things I've said. I sure had no right to say them. I can remember an argument I had with a pregnant friend, well before I had my own daughter. I told that friend she was stupid for having a video monitor. I just didn't see the point. My sister had used the regular one with my nephew and it worked just fine. Why spend money on video, was my reasoning. I remember saying to her:
"What are you going to do? Watch the baby sleep all night on TV?" She rightfully put me in my place, though I didn't agree at the time. Still, what business was of mine? When I read the article, it all came flooding back to me. I had tons of opinions on raising a child; but what gave me the right to express it?
That friend and I are no longer friends. We were fine after that day; it just ended up being a few of the relationships I lost during the year that I got married and had my daughter. Perhaps those friends had their opinions, and just were afraid to express them to me.
More than likely, my opinions on THEIR lives is probably what drove them away. I'm really sorry for that.
Over the last couple of years, I've tried to be better about that. I try not to give advice unless asked, or unless someone is in desperate need. I sure don't hand out parenting advice unless asked. I guess I learned how to be humble there.
Do I still have opinions? Damn right I do; ask my husband. I still express them, but I try to think before I do. This blog isn't called "A View From My Soapbox" for nothing. But, I am trying be a better person. Not just for myself; but for my daughter as well. I'm trying to be a better friend; a better listener.
So, when you see me around, and want to know what I think, I'll be glad to tell you.
You just have to ask first. ;)
